Twisted Sister Fiction Twisted Sister Parenting

FLASH FICTION — Admiring a New Baby

Hello, dearie, it’s so nice to see you — and you have the wee one with you, oh, let me take a peek —

Well then.

Oh yes, he is handsome, looks just like his father.

Oh – it’s a girl. Well, then, she’s a sturdy lass, big boned, you might say.

I’m sure she’s not too big for her age, just healthy. Well fed, and they say that’s a good thing.

Oh, the hair. No, I didn’t notice, not really. Not unless the sun strikes it at the right angle, of course, and then… well, you see… I guess you could say there’s not much of it, a sort of a baldness to the child, if you know what I mean.

It’s blonde is it? Fair skinned? Hmm… better be careful he doesn’t get a sunburn – oh, yes, she, of course. It is a girl, how silly of me to forget. She. Needs a good hat, the poor thing, cover up in this sun.

No, no, I don’t mean hide the poor child, although those ears, well, you might say they’re on the largish side, aren’t they?

Oh – you don’t say? Just like the grandfather? Well then, isn’t that lucky? And yes, I’m sure the sunscreen you put on earlier will be fine, but, I must say those ears are looking a little red in this light.

Now that I look at him – oh, her, I mean, her, she has lovely eyes. Such a nice shade of blue – is that from anyone in the family?

No? Oh well, they might change then. They usually do.

And yes, such a charming baby, a very sweet disposition – what’s that? Sorry, he was crying too loud and –

Oh yes, she, it’s a girl. I knew that.

As I was saying, such, a lovely child, and very striking features. Bold looking. Very sturdy, like an athlete, perhaps a footballer.

You fancied ballet? Always loved the costumes?

Oh, well then, with enough tulle and ribbon, why, the wee thing would look like an Easter egg; that would be simply adorable, a guaranteed role, you might say, although, you might have a difficult time at Spring recital with all the Easter bunnies hopping around –

I agree, it’s best to let the child choose for themselves in these kind of things.

Well then, it was lovely seeing you too, take care. And yes, dearie, I’d say so too. Nothing a that mother’s love won’t cure…

But those ears – do you think you might see a plastic surgeon about them?


A recovering mommy blogger and copywriter, Angela hides out in many places such as editorial meetings and literary festivals, and random places online, but her most favourite of all is at Twisted Sister.


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