you talk too loud too much all the time
it’s your way or no way
argumentative understates your everything
you are a control freak
determined to emasculate
the men in your life
and so she turned inward
spoke in low tones
tamped her intellect
you crave the bizarre
indulging your body in grotesqueries
allowing many any all to touch and fuck and suck
giving into your most animalistic self
as if you have no control or care
for the normal
and so she put away her toys
closed herself to magic
made her body his temple
you decimate everyone in your life
it’s impossible to love you
when your entire being
is focused on assholery and bullshit
why do you think
you have no friends no family nothing
and so she skirted the peripheries of life
small and bewildered
saddened by her ugliest self
until that night
of gnashing teeth and bared claws
mouths a froth
eyes wild with fury
when she realized with a sudden start
the problem did not lie at her feet
her soul was not rotten
she needn’t take ownership of his fuckery
when she listened to the howl
the call of bated breath and packs on the hunt
a wilderness in the pit of her belly
waiting to be discovered explored embraced
and she ran with her wolves
the fire of her youth
the majesty of her self
that wondrous being of light love intelligence
that luminous woman meant to kiss sigh laugh
that deadly beast never to be tamed controlled contained
she fought back
she found herself
she won
*
Madhuri Pavamani is a writer of dark and erotic fiction and poetry. Her upcoming novel ‘Dutch’ has been called ‘unapologetically smutty’ and ‘dark and sexy and bloody’ — and you bet we’re looking forward to reading it! Madhuri can be found at madhuripavamani.com or you can follow her on Twitter @MadhuriWrites
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