Welcome back – to week two of us rocking our way through the Twisted Sister parenting issue, (week one’s over here) and we have to say, that as parents, we have some major issues.

Happy, sad, good, bad – parenting has it all. And trying to work with kids underfoot – man, that’s a whole other ball game. (That reminds me — be sure to check out Balls & Co if you haven’t done so already.) Let’s get to work. It’s time to put pencil to paper (or fingers to keyboard) – what are your writer rituals with children around?

We’ve got a strange assortment of poems about children here and there (and the requisite PTA meeting, where, and I quote ‘while I was busy in the basement getting fucked’ was actually a line –


Don’t worry, we’ll wait while you check that one out. And don’t forget our poem about absent parents and cannibalistic offspring.

Seriously – you can only find this stuff on Twisted Sister, folks.

For the hard knocks (or knocked up state) that parenting brings, check out The Unexpected and Trash. And, for a fun visit to some really messed up families, check out The Closet where mama is a lying sociopath, and Boom, Bust, where a dutiful daughter drugs her mother to get some extra spending money – but don’t worry, mama deserved it.

(You know, it seems like the mothers always get a bad rap – don’t miss our book review of Mary Karr and Jeanette Walls and the discussion of not-so-bad mothers)

Our murder mystery, Under the Skin, is about all kinds of secrets as a father tries to figure out who killed a cute high school senior while keeping secrets of his own. And for something really weird, we have our pal Fotohack (the guy behind all our leftofurban photos) reading Admiring a New Baby aloud and channeling his best Scottish nanny — you have to hear it to believe it.

We had too much fun with that one.

As we’re winding through our parenting issue — you know what they say, kids will be kids.

So what do you do with all these children? Maybe Have a Crappy Birthday, according to Caleb Echterling. Or, you get the grandparents to babysit in old school parenting meets new age uptightness.

Either way, sit back, and enjoy the ride through our super-sized parenting issue (and you thought only diapers came in jumbo packs).


Twisted Sister

Be sure to check out last week’s parenting issue for some happy, some sad, and some strange stuff going on – think crack addicts, criminals, murder, and abuse, all connecting to our parenting theme. (Told you we were twisted.)

Along that vein, we’re starting to gear up for the big day – Halloween. So send us your weird, your strange, your sexy, your spooky — because we want YOU!!

And final call for getting the sexy on – we want to hit the kink hard before we start scaring everyone. So send us your flash, your fiction, your poems about BDSM (yep, you got it baby).